Lost Faith & Lost Hope

I've once tell myself not to leave u anymore... Not to abandon u anymore... Not to make u cry n sad anymore... But I can't do it, I'm so sry... I knew, I really knew that u love me so much.. For me, I love u more than myself, but wat can we do? We dun have an option, parents & faith issues force us to separate once again... I've try my best not to give up, but I can't make it... Rmb I tell u that "Love Is Never Give Up"....... I've fail u... I dun believe in love anymore, I dun wanna be in relationship until I forget u... Can I? I won't forget about u in my life time, u will always be in my memories, the sweetest, the bittiest & and the happiest in my life... No one would ever take the position of u in my heart, u're so essential, so virtual & so stupid... I can't tell u anything, even whn u saw this post, dun b sad bcos I knew that I will always be with u too, be part of ur memories... I'm happy enough to be a memories... The time we spend together it's just like a dream, u and me did ask each others b4.. "Is this a dream?"... I think it is, 1 hour b4 we're one lovely couple and talking about our future together while we're having dinner... We laugh & smile... I still rmb the smile on ur face, it's so gorgeous and adorable... No one can ever compare with u, no one... Sry that I can't take u as my wife, our weddings & dream is all gone... I'm so sry... I knew that u wanna tell me words similar like these too... But don't, bcos my heart alr broken into pieces which cannot be pictured anymore... Just like yours... But I will rmb the smell, the smile, the cute expression, the promises, everything of u... Heineken is my only fren now, even Heineken be with me I still felt no bitter taste... I will pray for u & ur future will shine so bright just like the sun... :)

:)

I miss u so much... Hello~ Can u hear me? :( No.... U told me tht I'm not a good guy... Like ppl say : "Dun judge a person with his look." Is tht right? Hmmmm... Everytime we have conversation, I always keep wat I wanna tell u in my heart, i'm not brave enough to tell it straight away.. Sorry... Really sorry, I know tht b4 I've do something really bad to u.. But I really hope someday somehow I can pay the debt tht I owe u... Today u tell me tht we're just fren, not more than frens... Depressed... :( Aint got the chance to pay the debt anymore... Mayb i'm stupid, yes i'm stupid... :( How I wish tht I could tell u tht I love u, I wanna take care of u... Movie for 3 person, but i doesnt worth to get a name... Everytime whn I tell u smthg, mayb those r some embarrass stuff, example " I miss u...." whn u dun wanna answer me anything, i'll always say it's just an open end laugh, dun u mind.. For me it's pain enough to say it's just a joke... Ahhhh... Everyone think tht Brian is tough enough n have a bunch of girl fren... But i'm not... Sick Monkey!!!! :(